www.TheBrotherinRome.com

It's official: www.TheBrotherinRome.com

I'll soon be closing this blog, you'll enjoy the website better, and it will be a better all around experience!

If you have any suggestions, please let me know. 

DDNerbun@gmail.com

Let others know.

Off and Running: A New Record Year

The Pontifical North American College, my seminary here in Rome, made Zenit News (a Catholic News Service on the Internet), yesterday. It highlights that the new 1st Theology class (I'm 2nd Theology, because it's my second year here) has 61 men, the largest class ever and puts the college almost at capacity with 208 seminarians studying to be priests or finishing their licentiates, (fancy word for "masters") which are in different specializations of theology: fundamental theology, canon law, moral theology, spirituality, Church history, Patrology a.k.a. Church Fathers, liturgy, Scripture, etc...

 For the full Zenit News Article...

Other news from the NAC...

We've just finished building a new sports field with artificial turf. The field has already become the envy of Rome and can probably be spotted from airplane above, by the three red letters "N-A-C" in the middle of the field. Earlier this week the Bishop of Sante Fe, New Mexico blessed the field. Our NAC soccer team that placed 4th in the Clericus Cup tournament sponsored by the Vatican for the seminaries in Rome will have quite an upgrade in practice facilities this year. The Vatican also started a Clericus Cup Basketball tournament last year, which the NAC handily won, thus showing the world that basketball really is an American sport and if the USA can have an Olympic Gold Medal Team, then there is no surprise that their seminarians would have just dominate team in the Ecclesiastical World as well...

Back @ NAC

I've just returned from a wonderful Silent Retreat and have much I want to write about it in the future, but our schedule is already in full-swing for the present time and I've been preparing for a nasal surgery for tomorrow starting at 9am.---say a prayer if you remember.... 

We've just started our Preaching Praticum and have conferences all week on techniques and actual practice. Below is that 1st homily that I'll be giving in a few minutes to some of the other guys in my group including a faculty mentor.

The readings are for October 13 from the Monday of the 28th Week in Ordinary Time. What's with the date? Well we were told to chose either the readings for our own birthday or our mother's. I chose yours mom. :) Here's to you!

The audience is to fellow seminarians, so bear with the fact that it might be more theological than you like....

One of the gifts of the priest I worked with this summer in Sydney was his ability to engage and teach the children at his parish school. He recounted over the course of my stay there, how he had successfully taught the 1st graders the meaning of the word “heed” in which we “listen to someone” and then “do what they have told us” and that this word, “heed” spread across the playground at the school in a matter of days as the 1st graders taught the older kids what it meant.

This act of “heeding” pervades Luke’s Gospel written specifically for the Gentiles and is necessary to understand if we are to shed light on this this afternoon’s Gospel. For in the the verse preceding the Gospel I just read, Jesus responding to a woman says, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it.” OR in short “Blessed are those that “heed” God--Those that LISTEN and DO--those that HEAR and ACT upon his Word as this pastor had been able to convey to the children at his school.

It is in this context that Jesus in his frustration with the Jews calls them an “evil generation” because they have become so caught up in seeing signs that they miss the point that God has manifested himself through the signs so that they will “heed” him and follow his commands. In fact throughout the Old Testament, God uses such signs & theophanies: He uses the burning bush to stir up Moses, He sends plagues upon the Egyptians, his sends earthquakes and thunder at Mt. Sinai, and guides the people with the burning cloud in their wandering through the desert. These signs are not to entertain or be a circus act, but are to manifest his omnipotence and power so as to instill a healthy fear into them to live by the covenant of their forefathers.

Hence Jesus is upset with the Jews because after hundreds of years they, the Chosen people still are demanding signs in order to heed God’s commands.

Whereas the Ninevites, through the prophet Jonah, matured from their spiritual infancy in that Jonah’s sign and manifestation of God was solely his “preaching” of repentance, not some supernatural disturbance or miracle.

It is exactly this which Jesus is shaming the Jews over, namely that the Ninevites, who were Gentiles, not the Chosen people of God, repented by Jonah’s preaching alone, yet they are refusing to “heed” the Word of God from the Son of God, the Messiah, the fulfillment of the Prophets who is wiser than Solomon and greater than Jonah.

Jesus hence is calling the Jews to change, to mature in their faith, to stop seeking and to start listening and doing, to start heeding his Good News.
In the 1st reading St. Paul addressing the Galatians tells them the Good News-- that Jesus has set us free from slavery to sin and he exhorts them to not fall back into enslavement and bondage.

It is this spiritual combat and conversion that Jesus wants from his Jewish brothers and sisters and precisely what he demands of us. As we all at some point faced as we were discerning to enter seminary or as we were on retreat this past week, we often go through times of desolation or times of no “signs” in which God tests us to help us grow in maturity and to help us prepare for the future as priests under constant fire and greater temptations. In these moments of “no signs” and desolation may we strive to “heed” the word of God, knowing that he is always with us, and be able to proclaim, “Blessed be the name of the Lord, forever!”

Rocca di Papa- Silent Retreat

Know of my personal prayers this coming week, as I'll be on my annual silent retreat with my theology class from the North American College, just outside Rome near Castel Gandolfo the pope's summer residence. This year's retreat is geared towards Christ's identity, and becoming ever surer in our vocational call to priesthood since our deaconate ordination is under 24 months away. We will have two sessions each day where our spiritual director will give us a couple passages to reflect on and maybe some questions to discern. The rest is in our ballpark to grow in self-knowledge and relationship with Christ. There is still much formation and preparation to be done as the countdown clock tics, if we are to reverence the institution of the priesthood by already having become new saintly men.

P.S. I've begun preparing a website to be able to show more pictures, provide better links in a more orderly fashion, and to cut my prep-time for blogs in half. I keep you posted on the progress....

Avoiding a "Special Ops" Ideology

A recent article in the National Catholic Register highlighted the undercover ministry of a “Special Ops” priest working in Saudi Arabia with Filipinos (that surprisingly make up a large part of the work force in that country). He said that Saudi’s intelligence force knows of him and allows him to operate discretely because he is not a threat to security for the country. Because Catholics are not allowed to have Churches or to print anything religious oriented or wear anything identifying them with the faith, worship is done secretly underground, people are invited via email, and all songs or anything that normally would be written are projected on a screen. 

To protect his identity and prevent a scene he does not associate with Saudi’s unless need be. As if the way of life could not be worse for non-Muslims,  Saudi laws make it clear that there is to be no public manifestation or display of Christianity, Judaism, or any other religion for that matter. This heroic priest says he operates within these guidelines because to be deported or killed would mean that the 15,000 Catholics in his area would be without a shepherd.

I can’t think about this grim Saudi reality without knowing that many a time we do a poor job manifesting and displaying our pride in our own Catholic heritage and religion in a country that tolerates such public religious devotion, prayer, media, and churches. We must muster the courage to proudly be Catholic, particularly in the state of South Carolina where we represent only 4% of the population. Why can’t we be heard as largely as the gay rights movement in the US, which represents an even smaller percentage of persons? What are we afraid of? We can’t even be fined, let alone martyred for blessing our food or making the sign of the Cross in public, and yet some act like they’re getting their teeth pulled. Others wanting to be "Special Ops" in their faith, avoid “controversy” siting that all to prevailing false ideology, which doesn’t want to offend anyone or create a scene, when deep down they lack the courage to do something so simple. Yet these same people run to get their ashes on Ash Wednesday, after having already out-cried any public manifestation of faith. If you find yourself in this category then take St. Josemaria Escriva's challenge when he says: “Don’t say, ‘That’s the way I am--it’s my character.’ It’s your lack of character. Esto Vir---Be a man [Be a woman]!” Storm heaven and call upon the graces of God. Be courageous!

I confess that the culture of today is hostile towards Catholics, but isn’t martyrdom a sure ticket to eternal salvation? As St. Paul says “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.” Hb 12:4 As I tell all those who come on my weekly tour of St. Peter’s Basilica, “There are 140 saints and martyrs of the Church’s Triumphant  circling us above on the colonnade looking at us, reminding us that the ground we stand on is stained with their blood, and they are calling us to live such a life as they did, in radical imitation of Christ, becoming worthy of the name Christian.”

Another way we could manifest our pride in being Catholic is by simply carrying our rosaries in the streets on the way to work, unafraid of what people might think or say. For those of you who thinks that’s cheesy, I’m sure if you thought about it for a second you’d agree that it’s nothing different than that defining moment in a relationship with a girlfriend the first time you’re publicly holding hands and/or giving her a kiss, except that it’s your rosary that you don’t want to let go and you look forward to the end when you get to kiss it again. Sadly in many cases, those who are afraid to do something so little as this, show how little their faith means to them. 

So I "double-dog dare" you this week to first if you haven’t a rosary, buy one; second, to always have it on your person; third to pray it weekly, if not daily; finally, show it off if you really love it and God.

I’ve been blessed to be in Assisi for over 3 weeks now to study more Italian and to read some theology. In the midst of reading Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger’s (Pope Benedict XVI) Spirit of the Liturgy I was drawn to share a reflection on blessings after reading a section of the power and significance of blessing ourselves with the sign of the Cross. The sign of the Cross is the “most basic Christian gesture in prayer... [it] is a confession of faith... [Christ] transformed the sign of shame into a sign of hope and of the love of God that is present within us... By signing ourselves with the cross, we place ourselves under the protection of the Cross...The Cross shows us the road of life---the imitation of Christ... [It] is a remembrance of Baptism...a sign of the Passion, but at the same time it is a sign of the Resurrection...Whenever we make the sign of the Cross, we accept our Baptism anew.”

Read this fragmented quote over again at least once--it’s a good source of reflection.

This explanation of the significance of the Cross gives reason for its usage at the beginning and end of (and is integration within) every Christian liturgy, because it is a sign that points to the principal mystery of our faith: the Resurrection that won our redemption from sin.

Ratzinger also points out that the “Tav”,the last letter of the Hebrew alphabet written in the form of a cross (T or + or X) and spoken of in Ezekiel 9:4f became “the seal of God’s ownership. It corresponds to man’s longing for God, his suffering for the sake of God, and so places him under God’s special protection.” The manifestation of the symbol of the cross therefore pre-dates and prophetically announces the cross of Christ. This “Tav” marked many Jewish graves (pre-dating Christ’s death) found in the 19th and 20th centuries.

Ratzinger later recalls the devotion of his parents, who made the sign of the Cross (a blessing) on the forehead, mouth, and breast of him and his siblings whenever they were departing on a journey. It was done not only to guide them on their way, and to “make visible the prayer of our parents, which went with us”, but was also “a challenge to not go outside the sphere of this blessing”. From the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church (Question 551) on "What is blessing?", we hear that "The prayer of blessing is man's response to God's gifts: we bless the Almighty who first blesses us and fills us with his gifts." How true Benedict was a blessing and a gift to his parents and now even more so to us (as Pope), but how also true it is that the blessings and prayers we receive require a response.

Having read and reflected upon that, I want to make a response and to make it clear to all who read this blog or any of my works, who receive my letters, who write me or send me emails, who support me financially, who think about me, but most importantly those of you who pray for me that your prayers are blessings that daily and even hourly (at times) are a challenge for me. We may be 6 times zones apart or more, we may never talk on the phone, we may not even write to each other, but I have felt and sensed and received graces through these prayers and blessings that strengthen my resolve to give all I can for you as a future priest. As difficult as the "road less traveled" has been, I have always found strength in your encouragement and prayers, and although they would never be enough to keep me in the seminary if this were not my vocation, each Cross becomes bearable when I remember who the sacrifice is for.

Thank you! Keep praying for me and know that I really do pray for you whole-heartedly when I say it.

What do you mean when you say “I’ve grown spiritually”?

Two Fridays ago with 5 minutes left in a two-hour one-on-one Italian conversation class, my teacher in Assisi asked me what I meant by the statement “I’ve grown spiritually over the past year.” I thought for a few seconds and knew I didn’t have the time to give an adequate answer in English, let alone Italian so I promised to compose my thoughts over the weekend (in Italian) to talk about it the following Monday.

To begin I wrote that it’s interesting that the word “seminary” is derived from the Latin/Italian verb “seminare” meaning “to sow” and hence a seminary is a place “to sow” future priests. Therefore the common link made to the Gospel account, which explains that only seeds which die can bring new life---only those who die to themselves will bear fruit in abundance.

Someone once asked a saint what he did in his years of seminary formation and he responded “There were two of us, and I threw the other one out the window.” For me and the other guys of the diocese, this is what transpires. It’s a very painful process as we purify our hearts and intentions breaking from the world that we were attached to in varying degrees, and then we seek to one day re-enter it charged with the life and fire of the Spirit as ordained priests.

A deacon at my previous seminary once half-joked in a class that he should see guys hanging out the window screaming in pain because they are dying to themselves day in and day out. Sadly many stop short of throwing “the other guy” out the window because he’s bound tight with the shackles of past sins he doesn’t want to touch because he has rubbed the skin off his bones due to repeated failure, but others persevere each day and month trying to live selflessly for those we will be serving because you in our diocese deserve it.

This spiritual intensification over the past year here in Rome, happened in great part by somethings I find hard to admit. One thing was struggling to learning theology in a foreign language (Italian) The other was doing this 6 time zones away in a foreign city (Vatican City-Rome) far from friends and family. Don’t get me wrong, it has had huge benefits of traveling the world (Lourdes, Sydney, Medugorje, and Assisi- this summer alone), but really struggling with studies for once in my life (because of the language barrier) and being away from the USA (14+ months now) really is dying to oneself and is made manifest in a regular praying via prostration, where you don’t just prayer with your soul, but your body as well lying on your face with your hands extended on the cold floor, just as one plants bulbs in the cold winter grounds so that they die, freeze, and become flowers in the spring. This is a prayer of desperation, in which you declare dependency on God--that you can’t survive another class taught in Italian by a Spaniard speaking “pazzo” (crazy) fast with a Spanish accent or that you can’t come to grips that you’re serving Christmas Mass in a chapel with seminarians in the pews that you imagined your family and parish could have been.

This spiritual development is like the development of a friendship between two friends or spouses in which by communicating intimately they learn more of the other and grow in knowledge of love of the other. This happens most beautifully when both persons everyday share their own life with one another. Particular things must happen, if a true and real friendship clearly exists. I believe these things are equivalent to the classical types of prayer that my parents taught me by my bedside when I was younger: ACTS (Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, and Supplication). This ways of communicating must have an equilibrium to be healthy for no real friends just ask for things, but adore, praise, and render thanks to the loved.

In the world of today we tend to be impatient receivers. We want to know things right away. We want to speak Italian right away. We want to make friends right away. We want God to answer our prayers right away. And after not having been instantly gratified, we are tempted to immediately disown these things or persons, as silly and non-existent. Yes, we want something, but often we’re not willing to give, to let others in our lives for fear that they might see some flaw, as if they aren’t present to others already. But the price of friendship demands vulnerability and requires no secrets, limits, or barriers.

Our God craves to be with us every day, but he will not accept the masks that we try to hide behind. If we want to have this intimate and eternal relationship with God (which Benedict XVI calls heaven) we must stop lying to him, we must stop being afraid to talk about him in public, we must become proud to say our graces before meals instead of a hurried sign of the cross slouched deep in the booth at a restaurant, and furthermore we must practice our faith more than that “one-hour Sunday clause” that was in our “Fire Insurance Policy”. It must be every day, every second, every breath...

This is what intensified spiritually this past year and become more real and true. When one prayers more he more easily resists sin, not because he gets better at following rules and laws (even if they may seem absurd or backwards), but because he has fallen more deeply in love and has experienced the infinite love of God and therefore is not bound by laws, but seeks the good of the other. By daily acts of mortification: fasting from food or the internet, watching less TV or giving up pop music, taking a lukewarm shower to remind you not to be lukewarm in your faith, not feeling sorry and hopeless for yourself in the tasks that you never got done, doing things you don’t like because they must be done, making more time for others instead of trying to avoid them---these things help us die to ourselves and become living sacrifices for a real and living person (Jesus Christ), and they are signs of an authentic relationship.

"The Laws of God's Providence"

There's that showbiz slogan "It's not what you know, but who you know." In my Roman experiences that phrase has held true many times, except sometimes it need not even be "who you actually know" but just "who other people think you know." During Lent of 2003 on our Roman Spring Break, I and my two friends managed to get progressively closer to John Paul II as the week progressed. We first saw him at his weekly Angelus Address from the window of his room in the Vatican as he traditionally had done over the years. Benedict XVI does the same Angelus Address which consists of a brief homily and greeting of peoples (from the window) followed by the Angelus and a blessing of the people there and any holy objects they might have.

On Ash Wednesday, through the connections of my sister's religious order, we got aisle seats for the Mass traditionally held at Santa Sabina. We were estatic to be less that 3 feet from JPII when he proceeded down the aisle.

Mass with John Paul the Great
As if it couldn't get any better, we returned home and the next night received a call from my sister's religious community telling us that we would be able to attend Mass with the pope the following morning in his private chapel. Upon arriving in the Vatican Palace we were directed by the Swiss Guard to the chapel with 35 others. After the Mass was over the Pope received each of us individually, where we were allowed to greet him, kiss his ring, and have our picture taken. Although we didn't say anything else then a simple greeting (I said, "Thank you ,Wojek."- which means "uncle" in Polish and was his nickname for years in Poland with the youth he took out into the wilderness), are gaze was locked and I know he saw right into my soul. Such was his gift as a living saint.

After this momentous occasion, not only did I know I was living a lie by not being in the seminary, but that I needed to get there soon--I had felt a deep calling to the priesthood since the 5th grade, but had as the saying goes "I had given God a laugh because I had told him I had other plans." It wasn't until the day of his burial my senior year of college in 2005 that I bolstered the courage to make that decision to stop fighting his will and to surrender to God doing so in honor of JPII and asking him for his protection and prayers.

Christmas of the same year (2003), I took my brothers to Rome and although we didn't meet John Paul II again privately, we did with the help of my sister's religious community get to walk through his palace hallways and talk to the only black Swiss guard ever since there inception in 1506. His North African mother gave birth to him in Switzerland and hence he is 100% Swiss therefore passing the nationality requirement. My brother was able to get an aisle seat for Midnight Christmas Mass, but something changed then and has stuck to the present.

After having attended so many papal events, I can say that I have not stopped wanting to see the pope, but the hype is over. I felt I'd had my turn and that was enough, at least until a new pope was elected....

Public Papal Liturgies
Being in Rome has its perks of being able to go to many of the papal events, but when one's objective is no longer to see the pope close up, one's motive is often purified and one goes to be with the pope in prayer. This is quite difficult though, when the majority are pilgrims many of which seeing the pope for the first time are jumping up and down, standing on chairs, talking and clapping excitedly, and flashing cameras as "The Bishop of Rome" proceeds by and the Mass insues.

Benedict XVI has done something very interesting to cut down on this hype, this Hollywood-like spectacle, because he wants us to remember the liturgy is about something much greater than him. In his liturgies and appearances you don’t see a pope playing to the crowds, but a pope creating an atmosphere which draws the people to prayer with long pauses between readings from Sacred Scripture and prayers. He also will at times begin a liturgy with a Litany of Saints or whole songs before he arrives, so that when he comes into the Church the people instinctively clap less and if they do clap, they do so more solemnly because they are in communication with God--they are already praying.

"Laws of Divine Providence"
Having said all this, I must confess that when I go to a papal event these days with another one of the seminarians from the NAC, we, like anyone, attempt to get as close as possible, but I don’t exactly always play by the ever so popular "Laws of Physics". While some might be scandalized by the pushing and shoving that goes on by even little habited nuns,--the truth is, it happens. Everyone wants to see "Il Papa". I've over the past year developed a method I would like to call the "Laws of Divine Providence", which avoids this unruly and uncivilized behavior that resulting in a game of tug-of-war ends in the suffocation of the weak.

The objective each time is to get as close as possible to the pope, but to do so by avoiding all the pushing and shoving that really only makes you feel anything but prayerful (down-right ticked and angry and hence feeling like you need to go to confession) by the time you are forced into a chair far from the pope after having being jabbed in the ribs by some Sr. Maria Goretti for 3 hours prior to the liturgy only for her to slip around you and take your aisle spot. This really will happen to you...

So the first "Law of Divine Providence" is be calm and patient and don't expect much; be happy with whatever chair you end up in. The second law is "to practice what you preach" or to master that showbiz add-it I described earlier, “It's not what you know, but who other people think you know." This really takes a perfecting of the first law. But having the two laws down we proceed to our rendition of Mission Impossible.

Stage I: Anyone in magenta wearing a zuchetto and/or a pectoral cross (that means a Bishop or Cardinal) needs no ticket to get into a papal event or the Vatican for that matter. Also this is where the fun begins because anyone that "looks official" and like they are with the bishop or might follow behind them with another seminarian doesn't necessary need a VIP-ticket either. Therefore you have two options, strike up a conversation with one and ask if you can accompany him or follow behind him with an accomplice. Next, those classical Jesuit-Jedi mind tricks come in handy and save the day when the guards ask you if you are "insieme?" or "together?" referring to the bishop. You respond in Italian, "Why of course! We are "together". (with a mental reservation that you are actually together with the other seminarian in this Covert "Get Past the Guards" Operation) Note: It's best to choose wisely the bishop or cardinal you decide to follow because as that line goes "it's who other people think you know". This is key since you only get one shot before being discovered or worse getting asked for your VIP ticket that you don't have. Hence being white and American, it's not probably a good idea for me to follow Cardinal Jean-Baptiste Pham Mink Man of Ho Chi Minh City, since I don't know Vietmanese, let alone am 3 feet taller than his "Emminence".

Stage II: Having evaded the guards and just walked down the center aisle everyone begins to start looking at the seminarians headed down the center aisle in cassocks and automatically assumes they must be "official" or have some special duty, after all Italians provide top-notch security right (sarcasm)??? The best thing is to attempt to continue your conversation with your brother seminarian even if you are both in disbelief of having been able to slip by the first patrol. Again it's about keeping calm and not expecting much but trusting in the "laws of Divine Providence". We rapidly are approaching the main altar and wondering what we are going to do next, we're about to run into more guards, what will we claim, ignorance??? Again the mind is racing, but because of your gentile smile and commanding appearance you walk by the next wave of security in the midst of that conversation that you never really decided was about.

Stage III: You quickly have to decide what seat is available and can be taken. After all, the last thing you want to happen is to end up with the Con-Celebrants and accused of impersonating a priest or even worse having taken a bishop's seat. So you find the choir section (which happens to be closer that the Bishop and Priest's sections) and again choose a seat not to far back, but not to far forward. Attempting to keep up that conversation that died in the section you saw the first guard, you begin talking about how you slipped by and then you see the usher coming and you think you may wet the shorts you're wearing underneath your cassock, but you keep your composure until the Italian spills out of his mouth, "Do you sing in the choir?" Thinking quickly you call upon the "Jedi forces" and quip back in Italian, "We sing!" He's satisfied since you have cassocks on and he walks away. The peace and security begins to take over. You've succeeded.

Stage IV: The next question is, "Is this seat good enough and/or has 'God's Providence' run out or do you have some extra graces stored up in heaven to get you an even better chair, perhaps at the front of the choir next to all the Cardinals which just happens to be closer than the bishop you followed in?" Hmmm, you think for a moment and set a time frame for the next move. After all, there are all those chairs that no one is in. "Don't good Catholics always take the front pew? You begin to realize that others in the section you somehow managed to get into want those seats as well, so you all collectively decide to make a move together with 5 minutes to go before the liturgy begins. It works like a charm, the choir comes in (now you're flanked by the choir on one side and the Cardinals on the other) and the liturgy begins, the pope processes right in front of you, and although you keep your composure and don't make a scene, your heart is racing inside at how awesome this is. Only in your dreams could you have imagined something so ridiculous actually working.

You say a prayer of thanksgiving to Almighty God for the "Laws of His Providence" succeeded.

Having now spilled the beans on my "covert operations", I must say I still have yet to personally meet Benedict XVI or serve Mass for him, but I've enjoyed this just as much up til now. NACcers (seminarians at the North American College) get the opportunity to enter a lottery to serve Mass for the pope at one of the papal events, but I still have yet to get one of these once in a lifetime chances.

It's time to "Pranzare"

Rising for a seminary weekday at 5am before the sun has risen is a miracle in itself for anyone who has just graduated college after being your own boss and having not gone to bed til the sun had risen many a time. But as many times as I tell myself, "It'll get easier", it really doesn't. Morning prayer followed by Mass, celebrated together as a seminary community, begins at 6:15am regularly, giving me a little over an hour to become conscious by taking a shower, check the email and news, occasionally take a phone call (because it's only 11pm Eastern time at 5am in the morning), and say some prayers or devotions before we come together as a community.

Breakfast begins shortly after 7am, pending the homilist of the day (some give a short and sweet homilette, while others try to give you your 1st lecture of the day or revive those sleep-walking zombies that fell into the pew, wishing that the Church would ban masses before noon). Since it is not your IHOP special, many guys grab a bowl of cereal or slop some peanut butter and jelly on a Italian roll. Many tap the rolls with a knife to choose one that has the least chance of breaking their teeth or making the roof of their mouth bleed. Others scurry to the coffee pots hoping that the kitchen staff didn't do something drastic to the coffee, which is referred to as motor oil because it's so thick that it is rumored that Italians, if desperate enough will fill their car engines with it. Others fearful for their lives take to the streets of Rome to find their bar of choice for a coffee and cornetto (typically a croissant with sugar on top) before classes begin at 8:30am (8:45 for the guys that go to Santa Croce University--that's me). I should mention that "bar of choice" does not mean alcoholic beverages are consumed after mass at 7am at a local watering hole, but that "bar" is the Italian name for a coffee cafe.

Somehow you survive 4 hours of class and stumble back up to the NAC (North American College) Hill also referred to as the Gianicolo (In Latin Janiculum) Hill--It overlooks the 7 major hills in Rome and from our rooftop we boast the best view of Rome seeing miles in almost all directions. During the hot months of the year, many guys will take a shower after this half-hour hike across Rome that has left them drenched in sweat.

"Pranzo" served as 1:15PM daily has traditionally been the biggest meal of an Italian's day and thus is a multi-course dinner. It's so important it has received it's own verb in Italian "pranzare". The first course is typically a pasta, occasionally a zuppa (soup) or a risotto (rice dish). The favorite pasta by NACcers is spaghetti carbonara and some guys will empty the bowl quickly so that they can send their waiter (we all wait tables about once a month just for pranzo) back for any leftovers. The 2nd course is a meat and a vegetable (except for our meatless Fridays) . The salad of the day comes after this (mixed by a person at each table with olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, etc.--sometimes other favorite spices), then finally a fruit, gelato, or more substantial dolce (desert) on Wednesday is served. Wednesday lunch is one of the two meals guests can be invited and hence some local Italian desert or cake is served. Unfortunately, most Italian deserts and cookies tend to be very dry and hence wouldn't go over well with the average American, who is set on eating the cookie dough before it's even baked. I think the idea of chocolate chip cookie dough gelato would make them quite puzzled.

For all you wine connoisseurs, I forgot to mention that we will have a table wine with pranzo that some will indulge in. However, that will typically lead to a "riposo", the Italian version of a siesta that results in most stores being closed in the afternoons. I rarely make time for one of these, but for some it's an everyday ritual and may last 15 minutes or longer...

What is This "Brother" Business?

Having hardly spent 5 minutes with pilgrims in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome on a weekly tour or in any given conversation with a person outside the Pontifical North American College's (NAC for short) seminary walls of the Vatican always pops up the question, "What do we call you?" 

Father?

The first instinct of a person is usually to call me or other seminarians at my college "Father", because following the tradition of many US seminaries today we are required to wear clerics (black clothes with a white tab Roman collar) from morning prayer and Holy Mass starting at 6:15am until after pranzo (The Italian word for the main meal of the day--lunch) or our last class, whichever is later and hence when people encounter us they see what looks like really young priests. The question that follows then is why do our bishops and seminary formation insist on us--NACcers (seminarians at the NAC) wearing clerics. Unfortunately their is not just one sweet and simple reason, but multiple. The 1st is that some feel that since we have already in good faith taken major steps toward the vocation of the priesthood, we should begin preparing for it by wearing the common garb. Another reason is so that we stand out in Rome as beacons for lost pilgrims who need help and usually find priests or P-I-Ts (Priests in training) easy and friendly targets for directions. The other great reason flows from the "beacon concept" in that we are seen as youthful "Witnesses to Hope" in the 3rd Millennium, something our world never stops thirsting for and cannot survive without.

So after you get them straight on the fact that you are not a priest yet, but that you dress like one and have been told to and thus are not an impostor, some still insist on calling you "Father" or "Father-to-be" because you look like one. In a recent elementary school visit to Aussies in Sydney, a boy called me "Father" right after I explained I wasn't a priest yet. Who could blame him when that is what he has always equated clerical clothes with.

Well, then what do we call you?

Others though ask you again "that question", because no one is content with calling you "Seminarian". At 5 syllables it's too long to yell, let alone have a simple conversation under half an hour after exerting so much energy just in the greeting. In brief, it's just too much. However, for the sake of those who rightfully don't want to give your the title of "Father" yet want to be able to identify you with something more than just "David", you have to toss them something.

Your sister is a Sister?

Many readers probably know I don't exactly come from your average sized American family, but that I have 4 older sisters, 2 younger brothers and 9 nieces and nephews already (from 2 of those sisters alone). My 2nd oldest sister (#2 of 7) followed her heart to the "nunnery" of the Religious Sisters of Mercy of Alma Michigan 10 years ago this summer and made her final vows 2 summers ago after she finished medical school at George Washington University (that's right she is now Sister Doctor Mary Rachel Nerbun M.D. R.S.M.). In my 4 years of Civil Engineering studies at Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. I made many visits with other students to do yard work for their 40-acre convent just outside D.C. in Clinton, Maryland and in the process began being called "The Brother" because I was one of their sisters' brothers. As if 4 sisters were not a big enough gift from God, now I have over 80 additional sisters and mothers (original sisters of the community after there re-structuring in 1973), as I am a part of their family.

Why bother with "Brother"?

This title "The Brother" took on new meaning 3 years ago when I embarked upon serious discernment of a priestly vocation for the Diocese of Charleston, South Carolina. Those who enter formation for men's religious communities are called "Brother so-and-so" either for their whole lives or until they become priests and hence in my studies to be a diocesan priest and adapting this "religious tradition", I have often been called "The Brother" or "Brother David", by those who want to address me by something more than "David". The title of "Brother" can be confusing, but it is much easier and shorter said than "Seminarian" and it reflects a similar ecclesiastical (Church) status.

Religious vs Diocesan

This poses for many a question about the differences between religious and diocesan priests. In short and in general religious priests take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience to the superior of their religious community, which has a particular charism or mission (for example preaching, teaching, defending the pope, the poor, evangelization, etc.) whereas a diocesan priest takes vows of chastity (celibacy) and obedience to a bishop of a diocese and typically will serve the rest of his life in parish ministry in the diocesan boundaries as a pastor of a church you would attend on Sundays. For my Diocese of Charleston that means I will be a parish priest somewhere in the state of South Carolina unless directed by my bishop elsewhere.

So in brief, choose your pick when it comes to how you address a seminarian, but as an uncle of mine once jokingly begged and I repeat "I don't care what you call me, just don't call me late for dinner".

Sydney Goes Jerusalem for 3 Hours

In what is said by many already to be the most moving and beautifully executed Stations of the Cross ever captured live on TV, screens throughout Sydney were set up near each of the stations for at least 200,000 people (one estimate is 500,000) around the city who where locked on in silence.

From Sydney's Morning Herald:

For three hours, Sydney was transformed into the streets of ancient Jerusalem during the spectacular re-enactment of the last hours of Jesus Christ as part of a landmark event in the World Youth Day celebrations. The Last Supper of Jesus and His disciples was conducted on the steps of St Mary's Cathedral, Jesus was condemned to death at the NSW Art Gallery, whipped and scourged at the Opera House, made a spectacular entrance by barge under Sydney Harbour Bridge to Cockle Bay and was crucified at East Darling Harbour.

At the crucifixion, it was a much more solemn crowd than that which estatically welcomed the Pope to Sydney or joined the Sydney Archbishop, Cardinal George Pell, for the World Youth Day opening Mass. For more of this story...

The pope said the pray for the 1st station of the cross at St. Mary's Cathedral before gracefully exiting to the crypt to watch the rest by live feed surrounded by the New South Wales police force. The final station was perfectly timed for a breathtaking sunset, as pilgrims quickly got a taste of the cold weather (46F degree low) expected for tonight's camp out at Randwick Racecourse, where half a million are estimated to attend the closing 10am Mass Sunday with the Pope.

Many are still wondering how the actor for Jesus, 27 year-old Alfio Stuto managed for 3 hours in a skin thin tunic in the cold and wind along the harbor without hypothermia, when their own fingers became numb and turned blue. It's probable that the 5 meter high wood and metal cross was heated as during the whole time he didn't shake a bit, even after being stripped down to a loin cloth by the Roman centurion and guards.

One of the most interesting stations was the "native Australian aboriginal" Simon of Cyrene carrying Jesus' cross after another of this week's many dances performed by the aborigines which was incorporated into the station. They have been showcased in every event this week, even getting a smile from pope Benedict XVI on his official arrival by boat, courtesy of Sydney's Captain Cook cruise line. The aborigines playing their native instrument called the didgeridoo, what is sometimes described as a wooden trumpet or pipe has fascinated the pilgrims throughout the week.

In all it went off with a bang and ended with a respectful applause before people made a mad dash to the cloaking services to pick up their baggage in Hyde Park, where confessions, adoration of the WYD Cross and the Icon of Mary, dances, concerts, and food distribution services have been centrally located all week.

Tonight's vigil (6am EST) and tomorrow's mass (9pm EST) promise to be more than a Kodak moment for the youth from around the world, as they will experience the vibrant and universal Church in awe as the Holy Spirit descends upon the Southern Cross Province and they sing with the pope this WYD's theme song "Receive the Power".

For more pictures of WYD

What really is World Youth Day?

For those who cannot partake in WYD, it is difficult to describe the unique emotions that one experiences. I remember my first WYD experience in Rome 8 years ago. It would be an understatement to say it was an eye-opener. Coming from South Carolina where Catholics make up less than 4 percent of the population and realizing that less than half of those go to Church on a weekly basis, can quickly make you feel on any given day, small and weak—at the least, it can make you question your faith. Yet beyond the catechesis, the Jesus Jams, the pilgrimage, and seeing the pope, one experiences during the Papal Mass the greatness and universality of the Church. Imagine being in a crowd and everywhere you look you see an innumerable crowd focused on one central point-the altar at the Mass . It rivals the countless number of saints and angels described in the book of Revelation worshipping the Lamb of God. "Since you alone are holy, all nations shall come and worship in your presence." Rev 15:4 Scripture truly is fulfilled at WYD as the glory of God is affirmed.

And whether you have a spiritual awakening or not, whether you understand the language being spoken or not, whether your hands and feet are numb from the cold from having slept outside all night or not, you are a part of something greater than you will probably ever again experience on earth. Everything in your mind and life is potentially changed. You see the world differently and the Mass on Sunday feels different because you know for a fact that the Church is grand, that it is young and vibrant, and that there is great hope for the future. I think the US just experienced this with the recent Papal visit. WYD will become another unforgettable moment pondered in the years to come.

When things look bleak, when you don't think you can go on, when your studies seem impossible, when you are abandoned by your friends, when you feel pressured to negativities to what the secular world says is popular-REMEMBER THIS! At World Youth Day hundreds of thousands of youth came together to worship the King of Kings and it was more real than anything else the culture of death can offer. Youth came to remember and celebrate simple bread and wine being transformed by hundreds of priests and the pope into Jesus' Body and Blood. They cried out "Amen!" affirming that the Eucharist is real in hopes that it becomes the focus of their lives and will take precedence in them.

And so I repeat what JPII uttered so many times to the youth, to me, to the world, "Be not afraid!" Be not afraid to call Christ by name. Be not afraid to profess him Lord. Be not afraid to seek a friendship and talk with him. Be not afraid to be laughed at, mocked, and criticized for following him. Know that his love is eternal, that he wishes and promises to be with you always, whether you hear a voice or not. Be not afraid to follow him. All nations are called just like ours to a radical way of living. Be unapologetic for your faith. Embrace it. Demand that it be the norm in your life. Do not trivialize your faith or back down from it because it is unpopular. When you look around at WYD, you see that Christ is alive—he is truly risen, here and now, today and tomorrow.

Receive the power to be a light to the world shining next to millions around you! Blaze a trail for the future! You dream of doing great things only because they are possible with God and apart of his Divine Providence. "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe, plans to give you a future full of hope. " Jer. 29:11 Seek holiness and call upon the Holy Spirit to set you aflame. Work as if everything depends on you, and pray as if everything depends on God. This is what WYD has done for me and can very well do for you.